Hopeful New Year 2022

 

Selamat Tahun Baru rekan2. ❤️ Hari ini angka 2021 resmi menjadi masa lalu. Tertunduk penuh hormat karena hanya Tuhanlah yang jelas telah membawa kami melalui tahun yang kini harus Saya beri embel-embel "tersebut". Tahun kedua dalam pandemi COVID-19, pelajaran tatap muka yang sudah dimulai sempat terhenti karena lonjakan kasus transmisi dan pengetatan mobilitas kembali, meski akhirnya dapat dimulai kembali menjelang akhir tahun, ditambah anugerah tambahan kesempatan berkat kerjasama dengan Rhapsodie. Bangga pula dapat membantu aransemen musik salah satu klien dari kilang LNG di Indonesia.

Media online virtual semakin dimaksimalkan, murid yang "tersisa" dari awal 2020 plus yang apply ditengah pandemi terus maju meski tanpa tatap muka. Kerusakan salah satu device (setelah 6 tahun setia menemani), memaksa alih perangkat. Di tengah bergabungnya Saya ke komunitas RLST, pekerjaan tugas membaca menulis jadi terbantu, plus dalam pelayanan media untuk IESNorthwest 

Bersyukur untuk kesempatan dan kekuatan yang masih diberikan untuk menyelesaikan akumulasi 2500 km lari bersama aplikasi Nike Run Club selama lebih dari 5 tahun terakhir.

Awal 2021 (Februari) menjadi tonggak berdirinya komunitas "Let's Read Hebrew", diawali bersama Dessy Wijoyo David Prabowo Halim Yani Ellyz Ferdinand Ricky , kemudian melalui support Ptr Tommy Cabalquinto Pacatang Jay-r Sarsadiaz dan para anggota baru lainnya dan para guest speaker plus mentor, Pdt Decky Pendowo, M.Th, Finki R. Kantohe, M.Th, Pdm. Chandra Julianto, M.Th, kami bersiap merayakan 1st anniversary.

Bangga menyaksikan pencapaian studi kecendikiaan Ptr Oyan Simatupang , Ph.D, Pdp. Angga Sunjaya, M.Th., & Finki R Kantohe, M.Th

Saya terus melanjutkan belajar berbagai hal terkait bahasa Ibrani, Yunani, teologi dan biblika secara mandiri, dengan berbagai tanggung jawab di pundak, dengan berbagai masalah kesehatan yang datang dan pergi, kesalahmengetian maupun dukungan hangat, melangkah perlahan, rindu mengenali Yesus semakin dalam, perlahan menaggalkan berbagai "kemasan" keakuan, kesukuan, kebaratan, dsb, rindu menyambut Dia yang telah datang bagi mereka yang tertinggal, tertindas, tersingkir dan tanpa harapan. Semoga 2022 kita semua menjadi tahun yang menyelamatkan dan mempersatukan. #bukan9best

Video dan Mobile Games, Petaka atau Peluang?

Baru-baru ini Saya melihat video proses pembuatan sebuah video game genre aksi laga dari franchise yang dulu amat Saya gemari, kini sequel terbarunya baru saja dirilis untuk platform PS5. Meski sekarang Saya menggeluti banyak hal dan tanggung jawab, once a gamer always a gamer. Wow, desain permainan ini terbilang sangat prima dalam banyak hal, setidaknya yang Saya amati, detail visual yang dihasilkan oleh "game engine"-nya, kualitas directing mulai dari voice acting dan motion capture-nya yang semakin lifelike.

Salah satu alasan mengapa video/mobile game membuat ketagihan adalah bagaimana mereka dibuat secara amat serius dan skala besar (seringkali dgn SDM dan budget mendekati Holywood blockbuster).

Mulai dari audio-visual, musik, jalan cerita & alur cerita/level yang seolah bercerita & berdialog dengan isu-isu mental-emosional, sosial aktual dan "nyambung" dengan masa kini dari kita yang memainkannya. Makanya tidak aneh juga kalau mereka yang kecanduan game umumnya juga mrk yang mengalami bullying atau suasana komunitas/keluarga yang kurang kondusif. Kebutuhan utk merasa senang, hebat, diakui, menang, dan lain sebagainya. Sedih memang kedengarannya, namun meski semu, games menawarkan hal-hal tersebut. Hikmahnya, kita ditantang untuk lebih engaged dgn komunitas & keluarga ketimbang memberi instruksi, opini, apalagi larangan semata yang sifatnya satu arah, kita ditantang untuk rendah hati & sungguh mendengarkan angan-angan dan kegelisahan generasi yang lebih muda.

Melarang tanpa solusi/alternatif sepertinya kurang bijak dan tak akan banyak berpengaruh. Sebaliknya mungkin kita bisa mencoba mendorong anak-anak atau remaja untuk tertarik pada sisi kreatif di balik games yang mereka sukai. Banyak sekali skill yang terlibat dalam pembuatan games, terutama yang "rating"-nya tinggi. Mulai dari kemampuan sastra untuk merancang karakter dan jalan cerita, seni akting, computer/electronics utk teknologi motion capture dan lain sebagainya, skill musikal dan tata suara, desain visual, programming/coding, hingga marketing, managerial, teamwork & leadership skill.

Atau .. mungkin membuat hal lain semenarik dan semenghibur games.

It's Only a Key Lock

We messed up big time, and God still wants us..

A take from Psalm 149:4

I used to think that "forgiving & loving ourselves" isn't biblical because I was more brought up with the stories of sacrificial faith even martyrdom both from biblical figures and the saints across Church's vast history.

It wasn't until recently that I was convicted by this sentence, "God takes pleasure in his people". Being sometimes too obsessively careful in sharing my takes, I stopped for a while due to historical gap surrounding this word "rotzé" used in v.4 for "to take pleasure in".

Rotzē רוֹצֶה is one of those words that I managed to learn through _Duolingo_ and in modern context it simply means "I want/he wants", (the not so simple : verb, 1st&3rd person masculine singular, present/participle, simple active form).

After a rethinking, I decided to share it anyway, vulnerably. 

There have been countless times of shock realizing I was just being "overkill" in my scolding on the boys. I was seemingly aware yet almost unable to control my reactions whenever one of them neglected instructions or if things were lost or broken under their watch. It grievens me deeply that I haven't been able to keep my promise in not repeating physical and verbal assaults I've received from my parents, especially my Dad, even after my Mom was "born again" and immediately showed tremendous change in temper, Dad didn't seem to slow down. It got even to the point where my wife had to stepped up to mediate our worst fights back when we're still dating. I was wrecked and disoriented to realize that all these times, amongst all others hardships I had become my worst enemy.

Then one moment of grace came from unexpected direction. I have been attending weekly lesson zoom (3rd month now) with RLST community, and this month's topic is "Treasure from The Old Testament", the mentor was also one of GSJA "Pdm" (associate pastor)*, in his 30's, with a (bibl.)Th.M under his belt and 400 pages thesis for his Th.B, arguing against the "misuse" of the prophetic office in our times.

Long story short, in that session (lasted around 2.5 hours), his one statement stayed in my mind.. "after the siege of Jerusalem by the Babilonians, there's no more mention about the Ark of The Covenant, until The Book of Revelation".. They've lost it! Up until today there's no hard proof besides countless conspiracy theories surrounding the findings of the Ark. Whether it's carelessness in safekeeping or in maintaining allegiance to Yahweh which would prevent such tragedy to occur in the first place, Israel messed up.. big time.

I nearly burst to tears when strangely fragments of little Felix being beaten or yelled at for more than an hour swooshed through my mind. I haven't forgiven myself for things lost and broken, I hated myself for not being good enough, for not being perfect, and later on, for not being "successful". And when I realized the gravity of Israel's mistake, and how God has been showing that not only He's forgiven them, there's this little voice in me saying, "It's only a key lock that you lost, forgive yourself, if you want to obey God, forgive and love yourself, learn to unashamedly rejoice." Being realistic, there are going to be series of spiritual and mental detox which I gladly go through, my children healthy growth is afterall paramount. Yet, I'm thankful for that moment of grace, and also to you, I suspect (and I'm usualy quite sharp with this 😅) that you've also been praying for me. 💕🙏

Should there be comments or responses, my *I will* (which I forgot to say yesterday) is that : I will learn to receive God's forgiveness by being ready in forgiving myself and others.

Many times the problem of fault and forgiveness are highly subjective, proven by how many people hold on to bitterness even though one party might not realize the fault of simply also to bitter or "thickskinned" to care. So as Ptr Tommy (IES Northwest Jakarta) often preached, it should always start with me, cause my Father in Heaven have started it through Jesus.

The word "rotzē" isn't what it used to be, when you search "רוצה", there are less than 10 appearances in the OT, and it usually means "to desire" or to "favor highly", because the Bible, especially older English uses "want" for different meaning which are either "hunger" or "being needy". But that just get even better. To know that God wants me, as if He won't be complete without me, that's already something that will cause me to die smiling, then how much more to know that He delights himself and takes pleasure in me? That means the whole world. 💕

Note:

* Currently moved to become the teaching pastor of Reformasi Liturgi Church, a local community ecumenical home church under GMII (Evangelical Methodist Church in Indonesia), and in process of continuing to theological doctoral study.

Party Hard?

Redefining "Party Hard", "Play Hard", and self fulfillment through the reading of Joshua 5:9 and Luke 24:2 from the lens of Hebrew root גלגל (gimel lamed gimel lamed).

Disclaimer: this is a personal commentary instead of thoroughly defended academic observation.

Double Gimel-Lamed גלגל is one of few Hebrew 4 letter root (3 is more common) mostly associated with things that are circular and cyclical.

Galgal גַלגַל is "wheel" or "pulley".

Gilgal גִּילגָּל is place mentioned 39 times in the תַנָ'ך Tanakh, 15 of them in יהושע The Book of Joshua, including a story of how the name is given..

Joshua 5:9 And the LORD said unto Joshua, This day have I rolled away the reproach (shame) of Egypt from off you. Wherefore the name of the place is called Gilgal unto this day.

Whether it's a divine arrangement, the writers' intention or both, we can spot the unique selection and depiction of removal as the act of rolling a (tomb) stone away. I guess it's normal to associate shame with a person's demise (death), but to associate death as the direct logical consequence of leaving God's presence, of spiritual death, and later to imply that the God's ultimate act in wiping of sin is the undoing of death, this is a revelation ahead of its time. Again, this idea is highlighted in The Gospel through the writings in Luke 24:2 ..

הֵן רָאוּ שֶׁהָאֶבֶן כְּבָר "נָגֺלָּה" מִן הַקֶּ

And they found the stone "rolled away" from the sepulchre (tomb).

And this reminds me of my Christian conviction through the Spirit that as משיח Christ was risen, the work of salvation is done, the shame of Egypt (biblical symbol for sin and worldliness) has been נָגֺלָּה rolled away.

As I ventured to compare various form of the word "rolled" in its construct form, the words which sound identically with #Gilgal is the ones attached to "I" and singular "you" (both male & female equally)..

Gilgalti גִּלְגַּלְתִּי (I rolled), at this point I was imagining God saying these words. (Both in Joshua & Luke)

Gilgalta גִּלְגַּלְתָּ (you rolled - man)

Gilgalt גִּלְגַּלְתְּ (you rolled - woman)

So as confusing as it is for us "average" people regarding Soteriology, "grace vs works". This #Hebrew reading hinted a form of partnership. Doing the opposite of righteousness, becoming an opposition to God's character and works, all these are a sign of rejecting the grace. God's way of saving is a self emptying paradox. Though He's infinite, it takes "you and me" to pull this off.

And finally, I couldn't help but rethink the "boring" eternity where we sing and float among the clouds to the kind where we'll be loving Him for all times through serving one another, no longer due to needs but out of the abundance of love .

Let's think of these the next time the worship service is ended and we're sent back to our daily responsibilities. A life of service is what's depicted in our celebration of praise. The "party" is just the image of joy, the "work" is the real thing.

Finally, everyone needs holidays and parties, but one can never expect to find ultimate meaning & fulfillment as those found in working and serving others for there we can see and contribut to the full display of self denying and purest love.

Musical Portfolio of Icarus30soundtracks

This blog serves as a portfolio of projects I've completed. Feel free to explore to get be informed on our service characteristics. Enjoy and God bless.

~Felix Zhao~

"Come On", our jingle composition in partnership with SoundMark studio for the launching of FaFa, a character by Kanimals.

"No Journey Too Far", a musical background for animation project "The Boy and The Red String" by Silvia Meiliani.

"Forever In Love", a song project requested by Sisca Kosasih, a memoir to her departed father.

"Kita Bhinneka Kita Indonesia", re-arranging music for 2018 Passover flashmob "Kita Bhinneka Kita Indonesia" (We Are Many/Diverse, We Are Indonesia)  was a currently popular & socialized lent movement song in Jakarta diocese (KAJ), promoting national awareness & integrity.  As Christians, Catholics are also called to love, to contribute & to pray for their nation, this is from the heart of the song writer, Fr. Reynaldo Antoni.

"Rendahkanlah Hatimu", a client asked me to make the minus one version of the song she recorded on her cellphone (Low Quality) for her child's competition performance, I only had that material to listen to as a clue to the project and the other half of this audio is the finished re-arranged version.

"Calling", a trailer for a seminar entitled "CALLING" also a book launching, "Calling: More Than Just a Dream" written by Lie Seng Cuan, the director of PT. Smart Personality Indonesia. I interpreted the content of the book into a musical arrangement, a narration, and video presentation, all displayed in this clip. It was a meticulous and thrilling 3 days project starting from music composing, narration dubbing, audio mastering, and video composing. The clip was presented on the event, on May 18th, 2013, at Estubizi Setiabudi Building 2 Fl.1, Jl. HR Rasuna Said Kav.62, Kuningan, South Jakarta.

"I Giorni" personal rehearsal.

Really?

An observation and proposition on the Book of Jonah and the Hebrew root אמת (Aleph Mem Tav)

You can say "Be'Emeth" בֶּאֱמֶת? For "Really? Seriously?", and it literally means "in (the) truth". The issue of truth is what should bother many when they argue against God, it would need tremendous courage and "faith" to consider moral, justice and love as purely brain chemistry, to waver the possibility of an entity which sets all in order and give that same sense & urgency in us.

Many have read the "unresolved" story of Jonah יונה as a symbolic warning so that the dove (yes, same word, יונה) symbolizing God's people, born out of אמתי "Amittai" (faithfulness) won't miss the mark and fail the task, fail to notice God's work as it happens and as mercy falls to those seemingly undeserving in front of our very eyes.

I've been raised around the premises that God's important characteristic is חסד ואמת "Khesed V'Emeth" (Mercy and Truth / Righteousness). "Ammitai" (sincerity) alone  just won't do. We can be sincere & wrong at the same time. We need open hearts to contain God's חסד "Khesed" (mercy) and open minds to God's wisdom and presence in others.

The same question is asked in our faith practices & spiritual services. Are we enriching & facilitating one another rather than cultivating discriminative & elitist cultures? Are we really & genuinely following the footsteps of ישוע The Word incarnate, being one with the lowest in their struggles, identifying with their concerns and thus lifting them to shared divinity? How do we share Christ with the ones with less voice nor influences, the small and weak? It's time to pose a loving question to the pulpits, stages, heavy symbolism & primordialism, "Be'Emeth" בֶּאֱמֶת?

#weekday #חסד #linguist #אמת #theologian #theologystudent #polyglot #עברית #learnhebrew #speakhebrew 

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It's All Good (Even When It Isn't)

Can you believe that? The Hebrew word for "to form" and "sad" are from the same שׁוֹרֵשׁ root!

O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the LORD. Behold, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are ye in mine hand, O house of Israel. (Jeremiah 18:6)

But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold. (Job 23:10)

Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;

And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him; (Hebrews 5:8-9)

If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable. (1 Corinthians 15:19) 

This revelation I stumbled upon is truly a Good Friday miracle.

As our Jewish brethrens are observing a week of פֶּסָח Passover, remembering the deliverance, we also celebrate a groundbreaking fact that today, thousands of years back, the second matzah bread was broken, a crook, nearing his death, was accepted to be with God in paradise, and so we'll all be. This fact alone, God became flesh and died in our place, endured the worst עצוב "atsuv", as darkness מעצב "me'atzev" Christ to perfection. This had marked for all times an immutable joy to those supposedly no longer with hope. 

Today I learned to read the story in John 18-19 as a part of humanity whom for some reason were "set aside" and forgotten, those trodden by this strength and wealth worshipping society. I read about a God who is victorious not after death, but starting even in it, so that He can continually be the lifter of those incarcerated, despised and forgotten. That He later was risen as God's final word against the discriminative and oppresive nature of our sinfulness. In this kind of reading, there's no place for discriminating those lacking with faith, there's solidarity and not merely superficial compassion with the misfits and outcasts.

Today we remember that in ישוע Jesus, everyone in their lowest and darkest has Him to perfectly belong to and to partake in. Because it's a remembrance of deepest grief, it has also become the celebration and source of our perfect joy. Death has lost its sting, it has become a gateway of our perfecting, freedom, a warm embrace and a homecoming.

And for us still entrusted with the ability to ascend, should we really follow Christ, should we genuinely identify ourselves with Him, then we would consider that this finally risen and absolutely reigning Christ was asking Peter, who later taught all of us not about the "getting even justice", not about making a Christian political comeback, but this perfecting question before we're to properly serve and function , "Do you love Me?".

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